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Quotes Archives

This where I archive all those wonderful quotes you see on the main page. I kept getting emails from people about certain quotes and I didn't have any of them saved, so, in order for people to look at some past quotes I've decided to archive them. Enjoy!

6 July, 2006:
"I've been waiting in the dark for a long time, shining my beacon of hope through the shadow. If you see me, don't you hide your eyes from me."
-Anon

29 April, 2006:
"When I wake up alone, the shades are still drawn on the cold window pane so they cast their lines on my bed and lines on my face." -Anon

8 February, 2006:
"I am the wicked specimen of sin with no profound logic to believe in. Hold me tight, but don't hold me close, I go where I desire."
-Anon

1 January, 2006:
I go where my heart beckons me, and I go with my head high. But sometimes, I get a need until I bleed so my heart swims above my head.
-Anon

31 December, 2005:
Conversation in #omens_heart then on MSN with some friends:

#omens_heart:
Griven looks to Rader assuming he is still confused

Griven: OK my friend to clear this up, do you like guys too, you know how you like the ladies?

Rader_von_Blair: No, I do not like gentlemen. Han was merely warning me that not all of the ladies that answer personal ads in the dispatch are women to begin with...

Griven smiles and nods "Ok then, that saves me some time tonight"

Rader_von_Blair: +not

MSN:
Zite says: "Actually, Griven, I only like trees."

Rader says: I should say that, huh?

Zite says: Yeah.

Zite says: Then get a dreamy, lustful look in your eyes, and say in a low, intense voice, "Kyotan pines......oh gods."

Zite says: Extra points if you take a deep, shuddery breath

Zite says: Then look down at the wood of the table...and flush...

Zite says: And sorta....trail your fingers over it....tracing the grain slowly, sensually...eyes delighting in the pleasure and guilt...

Zite says: Then squeeze them shut and clasp your hands, once again forbidding yourself that darkest, most secret and wild desire for wood...

16 November, 2005:
You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him.
-Leo Aikman

7 September, 2005:
If it's a good laugh, it deserves to be laughed at.
-Andy

23 August, 2005:
There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart. Pursue them.
-Anonymous

7 August, 2005:
The best leader does not ask people to serve him, but the common end. The best leader has not followers, but men and women working with him.
-Mary Parker Follett

13 July, 2005:
Self-discipline is the ability to make yourself do what you should do, when you should do it, whether you feel like it or not.
-Elbert Hubbard

26 April, 2005:
People have more options than they think they do. But most people spend more time planning their vacations than thinking about what they want to do with their lives.
-Bob McDonald

24 March, 2005:
If the things we believe are different from the things we do, there can be no true happiness.
-Dana Telford

16 March, 2005:
Now, the following excerpt that you're about to read is actually only a small portion of what's been going on for TWO HOURS.

02:47 *> Rader_von_Blair bows mockingly saying in a clear, dry tone, "Thank you, my mistress."

02:48 *> ShiKyra shakes her head, "just as I thought. Sad sight, and such a handsome man you are."

02:48 *> ShiKyra turns on her heel and goes along the walk

02:49 ( Rader_von_Blair) Would you rather I be polite?

02:50 *> ShiKyra just keeps walking, waving him off, 'Just go back to where you are comfortable"

02:51 ( ShiKyra) I will not bother you anymore, showing you any type of excitement. It seems you are not comfortable with that

02:52 *> Rader_von_Blair mutters some not so nice things about ShiKyra now. Instead, he says loud enough for her to hear, "I refuse to back down now."

02:52 *> Kerwyn thinks ShiKyra would have had more fun with the Dunpeal)

02:54 *> ShiKyra laughs a bit but keeps walking, 'Sure, sure, Rader. Whatever you say, dear"

02:55 *> Rader_von_Blair just explodes with a loud, "Dammit!"

02:57 *> ShiKyra turns a corner quickly and walks down a street

02:57 *> Rader_von_Blair looks back the way he came, then down the street and acks when he realizes that Shi is rounding a corner. Without even thinking he dashes after her.

02:58 *> ShiKyra stops and leans against the wall, waiting, knowing he would follow

03:02 *> Rader_von_Blair nearly runs past her, skids to a halt, and again closes the distance between them. "You are going to drive me to the brink of insanity," he says, almost out of breath. Without even really thinking about it, he cups her face with his hands and kisses her again, not caring if he gets slapped, kicked, or kneed in the groin at this point. He just knows that he needs to be near her.

03:04 *> ShiKyra lets him kiss her again, not breaking the kiss until he releases her. Her hands trail up his back, once again grabbing his shirt in their embrace, not wavering. She gives more passion in this kiss than the first few

03:09 *> Rader_von_Blair deepens their kiss, his fingers tangling in her hair as he begins to kiss her more urgently, passionately. He untangles one hand from her hair to wrap his arm about her waist to bring her in closer to him. He begins to trail kisses along her jaw line and down the side of her neck.

03:12 *> ShiKyra pulls him closer to her, tilting her head back as he kisses her neck. Her hands have already torn his shirt more, exposing his back. She reaches for him again, her nails raking down his back. Her other hand entangled in his hair, as if guiding him were to kiss her.

03:14 ( Kerwyn) brb getting popcorn)

03:14 ( Kerwyn) lol)

03:17 *> Rader_von_Blair moans low in his throat and arches his back a little as he feels her nails rake down his back. He begins to kiss her almost feverishly, returning to capture her mouth again with his. "We should go someplace else," he whispers between kisses.

03:18 *> ShiKyra nods unable to speak just kissing him, nibbling at his throat, hoping to make him moan again

03:19 *> Rader_von_Blair offers his throat to her, closing his eyes as he does moan again. "We should...go..."

03:20 *> ShiKyra nods again, low she tries to speak, "Yes.....We...Take me......."

03:21 *> Rader_von_Blair stops just long enough to pick ShiKyra up in his arms and takes her to more private accommodations.

03:22 ( ShiKyra) *nighters, hope you all enjoyed the show, lolol**

2 March, 2005:
Conversation in #devonstavern first, then in #tokeiooc: #devonstavern:

Maximilian: When you assumed thirty winters, I found it amusing, because she has probably seen more winters than most have even said the word.

Strider`: how old exactly are you lady?

GalenaVenowen blushes slightly and looks away in embarrassment. "Younger than Fox Nightscape...."

Maximilian laughs

Maximilian: Well that certainly narrows it down, doesn't it?

#tokeiooc:

Maximilian: How old are you? "Younger than Fox Nightscape."

Maximilian: That's great. I've got to use that.

Diahnee: ^_^

Jezebel: O.o

Jezebel: Bad Max!

Jezebel: Fox isn't that old.

Jezebel: Younger then Alucent.

Maximilian: Let me quote you, JJ

Maximilian: When I asked how it was fair for him to be level 30 in 5 classes

Maximilian: "Fox is old... Really old."

Maximilian: So there :-P

23 February, 2005:
Conversation on MSN with some friends:

Rader says:
Oh, please don't let it be me....

Zite says:
You mean the soul mate?

Rader says:
yes

Rader says:
dammit!

Rader says:
why did i make Rader so nice?

Zite says:
If she says yes, RUN.

Zite says:
Tell her your boinking Han. And Zite. And the Morrin army. Tell her anything.

9 February, 2005:
Conversation in #tokeiooc:
Ariaore: poke
Ariaore: poke
Ariaore: poke
MichaelDevon: ...
Ariaore: o.* looks like we got your eye there

31 January, 2005:
Conversation on my AIM:
RedrumAeroway: so what have you two been up to lately?

LadyNyxSidere: Having sex.

RedrumAeroway: didn't we talk about this

RedrumAeroway: and how I didn't want to know about your sex life

LadyNyxSidere: ...oh, yeah...

RedrumAeroway: especially when I'm not having one because megan is six hours away and I have no car

LadyNyxSidere: Oops

6 January, 2005:
Conversation in #omens_heart on Chat.rpgworlds.com:

LadyAmythyst raises her brows in surprise at this tidbit of information. "What about Laurel?" Her head lowers to rest upon his shoulder, an arm drapes across the back part of his midsection, the hand of the other extremity splays across the left side of his broad chest just above the place where his heart resides.

Harbinger "I think of everything ahead of time, do I not? Addie is there to tend to Laurel, she will summon us, should there be anything needed." He dips his hed down, pressing a light kiss against the top of her head. "Do you trust me, Amythyst?" He whispers to her with a soft, soothing tone.

Zite sighs, and yawns, displaying its array of too-sharp teeth

Zite: Get me something to eat.

Rader_von_Blair: What would you like?

LadyAmythyst gives a warm smile, nods. "With all my heart."

Harbinger whispers a word, a spiral of warmth washes out from a hand, sweeping over their bodies, until they simply fade out of reality.

Harbinger [TheDevil@208.32.93.usr-33878] has left #omens_heart

LadyAmythyst [~Temptress@usr-26132.nas9.atlanta1.ga.us.da.qwest.net] has left #omens_heart ()

Rader_von_Blair: (Not to be mean or anything, but can I gag now?)

Zite: Fruit. Or pastry.

Zite: (Have I told you how much I love you lately, Gwen?)

15 December, 2004:
I believe people tend to think of leadership only in terms of action. But leadership is so much more than just that. Leadership is not just something you do; it's something you are. And that's one of the reasons good leaders have such strong magnetism. People are attracted to who they are.

All leaders desire results, but being must precede doing. To achieve higher goals, you must be a more effective leader. To attract better people, you must be a better person yourself. To achieve greater results, you must be a person of great character. A common problem occurs when a leader's real identity and the desired results don't match up. But when the leaders display consistency of character, competence, and purpose, it makes a powerful statement to the people around them-and it draws those people to them.

If you desire to do great things with your life, then seek to become a better person and a better leader. Nothing great can be achieved alone. Any task worth doing requires the help of others. And if you want to attract good people, you've got to become a better person yourself.
-John C. Maxwell

December 3, 2004:
Random comment from #tokeiooc:

Rymn_Vox: and i wish i thought of this while i was creating the name but i noticed it after the fact but his initials are RV. There's just something amusing about my char being recreational vehicle for me.

Novermber 18, 2004:
Conversation in #devonstavern on irc.legendweavers.net:

GalenaVenowen: (maybe we can get a certain GM to kinda lead us around the Lycanium(am I even spelling that right?))

Maximilian: [JJ needs to]

Maximilian: [If he does I'll get off his case about not being able to even have sex with a man without getting him pregnant.]

November 10, 2004:
Convesation on my MSN:

Zero says:
He now looks like a nightscape? What was he before? :p

Gal and Secil says:
the black sheep of the Nightscape family

Gal and Secil says:
refered to as Spanky

Zero says:
...

November 8, 2004:
Conversation on my MSN:

Zite says:
*snicker*

Gal and Secil says:
What?

Zite says:
Just the thought of an annoyed Vanessa. It makes me happy.

Zite says:
And Han will be happy, because Adrian's happy, and not doing scary, confusing, and highly exciting things like embracing him.

October 29, 2004:
The 21 Rules Of Halloween!

With Halloween upon us, it is worthwhile to remember a few simple rules to help keep this season healthy, happy and SAFE!
Please use these helpful hints this and every year!!!

1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead.

2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.

4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else's voice.

5. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off and go alone.

6. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

7. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would apply to any other house of the dead as well.

8. If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it's just the cat, GET THE HELL OUT!

9. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short circuits; just get out.

10. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.

11. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Don't stop and look around.

12. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you're doing.

13. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are female. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

14. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.

15. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in trouble if you recognize this one), anywhere in Texas where chainsaws are sold, the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.

16. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. If you think that it is strange you ran out of gas because you thought you had most of a tank, shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and most likely be eaten.

17. Beware of strangers bearing tools. For example: chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices made from deceased companions.

18. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the time to move in with the in-laws. This also applies to houses that had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices.

19. Dress appropriately. When investigating a noise downstairs in an old house, women should not wear a flimsy negligee. And carry a flashlight, not a candle.

20. Do not mention the names of demons around open flames, as these can flare suddenly. Be especially careful of fireplaces in this regard.

21. Do not go looking for witches in the Maryland countryside.

HAVE A SAFE AND HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

October 25, 2004:
Conversation in #tokeiooc on irc.legendweavers.net:
Secil: anyone alive here?
Xeon pokes Secil.
Secil decks Xeon
Secil: okay some one is alive good

September 6, 2004:
Conversation on my AIM:

LadyNyxSidere: sorry for taking so long

RedrumAeroway: sokay

LadyNyxSidere: We ended up having raunchy sex after showering

RedrumAeroway: and I needed to know that why?

August 20, 2004:
Conversation on my AIM:
LadyNyxSidere: did you die yet?
RedrumAeroway: no, not yet
RedrumAeroway: but I will
RedrumAeroway: eventually
RedrumAeroway: I think

May 5, 2004:
Conversation in #DevonsTavern
GalenaVenowen: so, ah...what else can Mike do now?
Ariaore: !galena
MichaelDevon runs around her in wide circles shrieking at the top of his lungs....why you ask? No one knows.
Ariaore: !grilledcheese
MichaelDevon takes out a plate to Ariaore with a sizzling hot grilled cheese sandwich. Kajaran cheese on white bread.
Ariaore !fryingpan
GalenaVenowen: (lol wtf?)
MichaelDevon hands Ariaore a frying pan, "Use it wisely my friend."
Ariaore: !umbrella
MichaelDevon hands Ariaore a large vinyl umbrella, in the color of their choice.
Ariaore: fuck
MichaelDevon gasps and shakes his finger at Ariaore "Where did you learn such naughty language Ariaore ?"
Ariaore: max is cool
MichaelDevon: No he isn't.
Ariaore: ari is cool
MichaelDevon: Well..of course she is. How could you possibly think otherwise?
Ariaore: is jj god?
MichaelDevon: Only in his dreams. We all know that Ari is the one and only true Goddess.

March 22, 2004:
Conversation on my MSN:

Quiet says:
Barret reminds me of Ferror sometimes.

Gal updating (in other words, don't bother me right now) says:
lol, but without the arm cannon

Quiet says:
Ha. If someone offered Ferror an arm cannon, do you think he'd refuse?

Quiet says:
I can just see him now...

Quiet says:
"Hell yeah! Cool!"

Quiet says:
...then he discovers they have to chop off his arm to put it on.

March 11, 2004:
Conversation on my AIM:
RedrumAeroway: yeah I'm kinda bummed out too, I'm like 600 some odd dollars short of what I need for college?
LadyNyxSidere: 600? I could help you out with $300 of it on the first. I get paid about $1,000 some odd dollars every 1st and 15th
LadyNyxSidere: It's real close to about $3, 000 a month
RedrumAeroway: wow that really good, but I can't . . . my mom would kill me if 300 dollars just appeared in my bank account . . .
RedrumAeroway: then I'd have to explain it and she'd kill me again for taking money from you
LadyNyxSidere: lol, think of it as an early/late b-day present: $150 for the b-day we missed, and the other half for you upcoming b-day. And I wouldn't send it to your bank. I'd send it to you wrapped up in a letter
LadyNyxSidere: As a check
RedrumAeroway: you are amazing
LadyNyxSidere: Me? What did I do?
RedrumAeroway: just . . . don't ask I'm too busy worshipping you for the moment

February 27, 2004:
Conversation in #devonstavern on irc.legendweavers.net
GTO: wus up amigoes
GTO: Buenos dias...
GTO: tardes?
GTO: noches?
GTO: Wuz up!!!
DeathShroud: Ahhhhhhhhh!))
DeathShroud: ((Hey Secil)
GTO: ....
GTO: howdy kail.
DeathShroud: Your spanish threw me off))
DeathShroud: ((I thought I woke up in cuba))
DeathShroud: and god knows what happened the LAST time that happened!))

February 25, 2004:
From #Tokeiquests(the quest room, not the main room) for the game "Realm of Tokei":
DarkDragonPyrlithos ((Hello???Just slightly lost...no clue as to what's going on...))
MichaelDevon Hello and welcome to Devon's Tavern.
DarkDragonPyrlithos .................))

February 19, 2004:
He didn't mind the fact that Diahnee was annoyed with him. She was annoyed with everyone but Rana. What got him was the fact that the Essence of Life didn't like him. 'Gods, I'm hated,' he thought.
- Tarrant from "Destiny Awaits"

February 18, 2004:
Zell saw Strite stumble out into the daylight. "Why did she run?" the prince asked of the warrior.

Strite shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. Women do strange things."
-from "The Darkness Within"

February 9, 2004:
THE 213 THINGS SKIPPY IS NO LONGER ALLOWED TO DO IN THE U.S. ARMY
SGT Shawn Stanford

Once upon a time, there was a SPC Schwarz stationed with the Army in the Balkans. SPC Schwarz was either very clever or very bored; but probably both, since he managed to attempt or be warned about 213 things he wasn't allowed to do. He collected those things into a hillarious list and posted them to the web. The site hadn't been updated in a couple of years and has since gone away; but the list is classic, so I saved it. A couple favorites:
2. My proper military title is 'Specialist Schwarz' not 'Princess Anastasia'. and
191. Our Humvees cannot be assembled into a giant battle-robot.

1. Not allowed to watch Southpark when I'm supposed to be working.
2. My proper military title is 'Specialist Schwarz' not 'Princess Anastasia'.
3. Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic.
4. Not allowed to challenge anyone's disbelief of black magic by asking for hair.
5. Not allowed to get silicone breast implants.
6. Not allowed to play 'Pulp Fiction' with a suction-cup dart pistol and any officer.
7. Not allowed to add 'In accordance with the prophesy' to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.
8. Not allowed to add pictures of officers I don't like to War Criminal posters.
9. Not allowed to title any product 'Get Over it'.
10. Not allowed to purchase anyone's soul on Government time.
11. Not allowed to join the communist party.
12. Not allowed to join any militia.
13. Not allowed to form any militia.
14. Not allowed out of my office when the president visited Sarajevo.
15. Not allowed to train adopted stray dogs to 'Sic Brass!'
16. Must get a haircut even if it tampers with my 'Sampson like powers'.
17. God may not contradict any of my orders.
18. May no longer perform my now (in)famous 'Barbie Girl Dance' while on duty.
19. May not call any officers immoral, untrustworthy, lying, slime, even if I'm right.
20. Must not taunt the French any more.
21. Must attempt to not antagonize SAS.
22. Must never call an SAS a 'Wanker'.
23. Must never ask anyone who outranks me if they've been smoking crack.
24. Must not tell any officer that I am smarter than they are, especially if it's true.
25. Never confuse a Dutch soldier for a French one.
26. Never tell a German soldier that 'We kicked your ass in World War 2!'
27. Don't tell Princess Di jokes in front of the paras (British Airborne).
28. Don't take the batteries out of the other soldiers alarm clocks (Even if they do hit snooze about forty times).
29. The Irish MPs are not after 'Me frosted lucky charms'.
30. Not allowed to wake an Non-Commissioned Officer by repeatedly banging on the head with a bag of trash.
31. Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.
32. Not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post.
33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.
34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.
35. Not allowed to sing 'High Speed Dirt' by Megadeth during airborne operations. ('See the earth below/Soon to make a crater/Blue sky, black death, I'm off to meet my maker')
36. Can't have flashbacks to wars I was not in. (The Spanish-American War isn't over).
37. Our medic is called 'Sgt Larwasa', not 'Dr. Feelgood'.
38. Our supply Sgt is 'Sgt Watkins' not 'Sugar Daddy'.
39. Not allowed to ask for the day off due to religious purposes, on the basis that the world is going to end, more than once.
40. I do not have super-powers.
41. 'Keep on Trucking' is *not* a psychological warfare message.
42. Not allowed to attempt to appeal to mankind's baser instincts in recruitment posters.
43. Camouflage body paint is not a uniform.
44. I am not the atheist chaplain.
45. I am not allowed to 'Go to Bragg boulevard and shake daddies little money maker for twenties stuffed into my undies'.
46. I am not authorized to fire officers.
47. I am not a citizen of Texas, and those other, forty-nine, lesser states.
48. I may not use public masturbation as a tool to demonstrate a flaw in a command decision.
49. Not allowed to trade military equipment for 'magic beans'.
50. Not allowed to sell magic beans during duty hours.
51. Not allowed to quote 'Dr Seuss' on military operations.
52. Not allowed to yell 'Take that Cobra' at the rifle range.
53. Not allowed to quote 'Full Metal Jacket ' at the rifle range.
54. 'Napalm sticks to kids' is *not* a motivational phrase.
55. An order to 'Put Kiwi on my boots' does *not* involve fruit.
56. An order to 'Make my Boots black and shiny' does not involve electrical tape.
57. The proper response to a lawful order is not 'Why?'
58. The following words and phrases may not be used in a cadence- Budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this formation and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, all Marines are latent homosexuals, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Korean hooker, Eskimo Nell, we've all got jackboots now, slut puppy, or any references to squid.
59. May not make posters depicting the leadership failings of my chain of command.
60. 'The Giant Space Ants' are not at the top of my chain of command.
61. If one soldier has a 2nd Lt bar on his uniform, and I have an E-4 on mine It means he outranks me. It does not mean 'I have been promoted three more times than you'.
62. It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission, no longer applies to Specialist Schwarz.
63. Command decisions do *not* need to be ratified by a 2/3 majority.
64. Inflatable novelties do *not* entitle me to BAQ or Separation pay.
65. There are no evil clowns living under my bed.
66. There is no 'Anti-Mime' campaign in Bosnia.
67. I am not the Psychological Warfare Mascot.
68. I may not line my helmet with tin foil to 'Block out the space mind control lasers'.
69. May not pretend to be a facist stormtrooper, while on duty.
70. I am not authorized to prescribe any form of medication.
71. I must not flaunt my deviances in front of my chain of command.
72. May not wear gimp mask while on duty.
73. No military functions are to be performed 'Skyclad'.
74. Woad is not camouflage makeup.
75. May not conduct psychological experiments on my chain of command.
76. "Teddy Bear, Teddy bear, turn around" is *not* a cadence.
77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them "You don't need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for."
78. I may not call block my chain of command.
79. I am neither the king nor queen of cheese.
80. Not allowed to wear a dress to any army functions.
81. May not bring a drag queen to the battalion formal dance.
82. May not form any press gangs.
83. Must not start any SITREP (Situation Report) with "I recently had an experience I just had to write you about...."
84. Must not use military vehicles to 'Squish' things.
85. Not allowed to make any Psychological Warfare products depicting the infamous Ft. Bragg sniper incident.
86. May not challenge anyone in my chain of command to the 'field of honor'.
87. If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
88. Must not refer to 1st Sgt as 'Mom'.
89. Must not refer to the Commander as 'Dad'.
90. Inflatable sheep do *not* need to be displayed during a room inspection.
91. I am not authorized to initiate Jihad.
92. When asked to give a few words at a military ceremony 'Romper Bomper Stomper Boo' is probably not appropriate.
93. Nerve gas is not funny.
94. Crucifixes do not ward off officers, and I should not test that.
95. I am not in need of a more suitable host body.
96. 'Redneck Zombies' is not a military training aid.
97. Gozer does not dwell in my refrigerator.
98. The proper response to a chemical weapon attack is not 'Tell my chain of command what I really think about them, and then poke holes in their masks.'
99. A smiley face is not used to mark a minefield.
100. Claymore mines are not filled with yummy candy, and it is wrong to tell new soldiers that they are.
101. I am not allowed to mount a bayonet on a crew-served weapon.
102. Rodents are not entitled to burial with full military honors, even if they are "casualties of war".
103. My commander is not old enough to have fought in the civil war, and I should stop implying that he did.
104. Vodka, green food coloring, and a 'Cool Mint' Listerine® bottle is not a good combination.
105. I am not allowed to bum cigarettes off of anyone under twelve.
106. I may not trade my rifle for any of the following: Cigarettes, booze, sexual favors, Kalishnikovs, Soviet Armored vehicles, small children, or bootleg CD's.
107. Must not mock command decisions in front of the press.
108. Should not taunt members of the press, even if they are really fat, exceptionally stupid, and working for UPI.
109. I am not authorized to change national policy in Eastern Europe.
110. Never, ever, attempt to correct a Green Beret officer about anything.
111. I am not qualified to operate any US, German, Polish, or Russian Armored vehicles.
112. When saluting a 'leg' officer, an appropriate greeting is not "Airborne leads the wa- oh...sorry sir".
113. There is absolutely no need to emulate the people from 'Full Monty' every time I hear the song "Hot Stuff".
114. I cannot trade my CO to the Russians.
115. I should not speculate on the penis size of anyone who outranks me.
116. Crucifying mice - bad idea.
117. Must not use government equipment to bootleg pornography.
118. Burn pits for classified material are not revel fires - therefore it is wrong to dance naked around them.
119. I cannot arrest children for being rude.
120. An EO briefing is probably not the best place to unveil my newest off color joke.
121. I should not use government resources to 'waterproof' dirty magazines.
122. Radioactive material should not be stored in the barracks.
123. I should not teach other soldiers to say offensive and crude things in Albanian, under the guise of teaching them how to say potentially useful phrases.
124. Two drink limit does not mean first and last.
125. Two drink limit does not mean two kinds of drinks.
126. Two drink limit does not mean the drinks can be as large as I like.
127. 'No Drinking Of Alcoholic Beverages' does not imply that a Jack Daniel's ® IV is acceptable.
128. "Shpadoinkle" is not a real word.
129. The Microsoft ® 'Dancing Paperclip' is not authorized to countermand any orders.
130. 'I'm drunk' is a bad answer to any question posed by my commander.
131. No dancing in the turret. This especially applies in conjunction with rule #113.
132. The loudspeaker system is not a forum to voice my ideas.
133. The loudspeaker system is not to be used to replace the radio.
134. The loudspeaker system is not to be used to broadcast the soundtrack to a porno movie.
135. An order to put polish on my boots means the whole boot.
136. Shouting 'Let's do the village! Let's do the whole fucking village!' while out on a mission is bad.
137. Should not show up at the front gate wearing part of a Russian uniform, messily drunk.
138. Even if my commander did it.
139. Must not teach interpreters how to make "MRE" bombs.
140. I am not authorized to sell mineral rights.
141. Not allowed to use a broadsword to disprove 'The Pen is Mightier than the sword'.
142. 'Calvin-Ball' is not authorized PT.
143. I do not need to keep a 'range card' by my window.
144. 'K-Pot, LBE, and a thin coat of Break-free' is not an authorized uniform.
145. I should not drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test.
146. Nor should I drink three quarts of red food coloring, and scream during the same.
147. I should not threaten suicide with pop rocks and Coke ®.
148. Putting red 'Mike and Ike's' ® into a prescription medicine bottle, and then eating them all in a formation is not funny.
149. Must not create new DOD forms, then insist they be filled out.
150. On Sports Day PT, a wedgie is not considered a legal tackle.
151. The proper way to report to my Commander is 'Specialist Schwarz, reporting as ordered, Sir' not 'You can't prove a thing!'
152. The following items do not exist: Keys to the Drop Zone, A box of grid squares, blinker fluid, winter air for tires, canopy lights, or Chem-Light ® batteries.
153. I should not assign new privates to 'guard the flight line'.
154. Shouldn't treat 'piss-bottles' with extra-strength icy hot.
155. Teaching Albanian children to taunt other soldiers is not nice.
156. I will no longer perform 'lap-dances' while in uniform.
157. If I take the uniform off, in the course of the lap-dance, it still counts.
158. The revolution is not now.
159. When detained by MP's, I do not have a right to a strip search.
160. No part of the military uniform is edible.
161. Bodychecking General officers is not a good idea.
162. Past lives have absolutely no effect on the chain of command.
163. Take that hat off.
164. There is no such thing as a were-virgin.
165. I do not get 'that time of month'.
166. No, the pants are not optional.
167. Not allowed to operate a business out of the barracks.
168. Especially not a pornographic movie studio.
169. Not even if they *are* 'especially patriotic films'
170. Not allowed to 'defect' to OPFOR during training missions.
171. On training missions, try not to shoot down the General's helicopter.
172. 'A full magazine and some privacy' is not the way to help a potential suicide.
173. I am not allowed to create new levels of security clearance.
174. Furby ® is not allowed into classified areas. (I swear to the gods, I did not make that up, it's actually DOD policy).
175. We do not 'charge into battle, naked, like the Celts'.
176. Any device that can crawl across the table on medium, does not need to be brought into the office.
177. I am not to refer to a formation as 'the boxy rectangle thingie'.
178. I am not 'A lesbian trapped in a man's body'.
179. On Army documents, my race is not 'Other'.
180. Nor is it 'Secretariat, in the third'.
181. Pokémon® trainer is not an MOS.
182. There is no FM for 'wall-to-wall counseling'.
183. My chain of command has neither the time, nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six boxes of Fruit Roll-Ups. ®
184. When operating a military vehicle I may *not* attempt something 'I saw in a cartoon'.
185. My name is not a killing word.
186. I am not the Emperor of anything.
187. Must not taunt officers in the throes of nicotine withdrawal, with cigarettes.
188. May not challenge officers to 'Meet me on the field of honor, at dawn'.
189. Do not dare SERE graduates to eat bugs. They will always do it.
190. Must not make s'mores while on guard duty.
191. Our Humvees cannot be assembled into a giant battle-robot.
192. The proper response to a briefing is not 'That's what you think'.
193. The Masons, and Gray Aliens are not in our chain of command.
194. Shouldn't take incriminating photos of my chain of command.
195. Shouldn't use Photoshop ® to create incriminating photos of my chain of command.
196. I am not allowed to give tattoos.
197. I am not allowed to sing 'Henry the VIII I am' until verse 68 ever again.
198. Not allowed to lead a 'Coup' during training missions.
199. I should not confess to crimes that took place before I was born.
200. My chain of command is not interested in why I 'just happen' to have a kilt, an inflatable sheep, and a box of rubber bands in the back of my car.
201. Must not valiantly push officers onto hand grenades to save the squad.
202. Despite the confusing similarity in the names, the "Safety Dance" and the "Safety Briefing" are never to be combined.
203. 'To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is a bad long term goal to give the re-enlistment NCO.
204. NEVER nail a stuffed bunny to a cross and put it up in front of the Battalion Headquarters sign as an "Easter Desecration."
205. Don't write up false gigs on a HMMWV PMCS. ("Broken clutch pedal", "Number three turbine has frequent flame-outs", "flux capacitor emits loud whine when engaged")
206. Not allowed to get shot.
207. The Chicken and Rice MRE is *not* a personal lubricant. (Skippy wanted this noted for the record that this is not something he has ever attempted or considered! It was something we heard at dinner on 22 September 2001 and it was just so obscene it had to go here.)
208. Not allowed to play into the deluded fantasies of the civlians who are "hearing conversations" from the NSA, FBI, CIA and KGB due to the microchip the aliens implanted in their brain.
209. An airsickness bag is to be used for airsickness *only*. (Also not a Skippy-ism...this was the same dinner.)
210. Must not make T-shirts up depciting a pig with the writing "Eat Pork or Die" in Arabic to bring as civilian attire when preparing to deploy to a primarily Muslim country.
211. Don't ask LTC Steele to sign my copy of Blackhawk Down.
212. Must not go on nine deployments in six years that require a security clearance that I don't have, even if the Army tells me repeatedly that I have one and I have no reason to question them.
213. Do not convince NCO's that their razorbumps are the result of microscopic parasites.

January 13, 2004:
Life is not made up of the moments that we take breath, but the moments that leave us breathless.
-Wende Hignite

December 31, 2003:
"I fell into darkness, and couldn't find the light."
-Cloud, Kingdom Hearts

December 1, 2003:
Conversation on my MSN(read the "two" as "too" and you should get it):

~@Black Leopard@~ says:
damn i miss u two

Gal and Secil says:
.... I'm not gay

~@Black Leopard@~ says:
.....*

~@Black Leopard@~ says:
*throws a shoe at u*

November 25, 2003:
Conversation with a friend in a PM on legendweavers:

Murkanen: he looks like ryu from street fighter in kens uniform
Rader_von_Blair: He does?
Murkanen: little bit but thats how i pictured him honestly
Rader_von_Blair: If you say so...
Murkanen: it is lol
Murkanen: he looks like ryu, acts like ken

November 24, 2003:
Duane: And then there's Gary, who smokes a lot of weed stuff.

November 17, 2003:
Conversation with a friend on my MSN:

Dragonfly says:
lol-what would he say if you told him that Aiole likes 'im?

Gal and Secil says:
I think he'd flounder in his gaming, choke on his drink, drop the controller, and gasp out, "WHAT?!"

November 1, 2003
Conversation with a friend in a PM on irc.legendweavers.net, Port 6667

GalenaVenowen: You're crazy
Murkanen: yeah im that too
GalenaVenowen: Crazy like Efrain/Ferror?
Murkanen: eh..
GalenaVenowen: guess not
Murkanen: lol
Murkanen: im a natural sort of crazy
Murkanen: his is woman bred

October 16, 2003
Reasons why you don't let a Master Ninja hang out with a Mercenary:
(This is after Ferror Everlynn, a mercenary, had a few drinks with Master Ninja Hikaru Kaze)

Ferror: Sensei, don't you think we've had enough?

Hikaru Kaze: Shhhh! We are Ninja! We are silent.... (sees the barmaid with a tray of beer)THERE'S THE BEER!!

October 11, 2003
Win and live. Lose and die. Rule of life. No change rule. Old man look alive on out side, but dead on inside. Ayla fight. Ayla no run. Running worse than losing.
-Ayla (Chrono Trigger)

September 28, 2003
Once, when people were pure and innocent, there was a box they were told never to open. But one man went and opened it anyway. He unleashed all the evils of the world: envy... greed... pride... violence... control... All that was left in the box was a single ray of light: Hope. We now confront those evils... And you are that last ray of light, our only hope..
- Banon to Terra (FFVI)

September 15, 2003
I am Alpha and Omega.
The beginning and the end.
The first and the last.
- (Xenogears [also, The Bible])

September 11, 2003
"Time passes, people move. Like a river's flow, it never ends. A childish mind will turn into noble ambition, young love will become deep affection. The clear water's surface reflects growth..."
- Sheik (Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time)

September 3, 2003
Peace is but a shadow of Death,
Desperate to forget its painful past,
Though we hope for promising years,
After shedding a thousand tears,
Yesterday's sorrow constantly nears,
And while the moon shines blue,
By dawn, it will turn a scarlet hue.
- Kuja (Final Fantasy IX)

August 17, 2003
Now! This is it! NOW is the time to choose. Die, and be free of pain; or LIVE, and fight your sorrow! Now is the time to shape your stories. Your fate is in your hands! - Auron (Final Fantasy X)

August 5, 2003
I don't care if it's science or magical power. No, come to think of it, if I had to, I'd put my faith in science. Because of science, humans who used to crawl around on the ground can now fly, and soon we're about to go into space!! I've earned my living thanks to science, so to me, there's nothing greater.
- Cid (FFVII)

August 2, 2003
If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh.
- Magus (Chrono Trigger)

July 20, 2003
Conversation with a friend on MSN:
Rak Bowin of the POD says:
i just dunked my finger in the cap of alcohol and let it sit for a minute or two, then used a ear....cotten....stick...thingy.....and just sorta scrubbed it with that
Gal and Secil says:
Q-tip?
Rak Bowin of the POD says:
yeah, thats it

July 13, 2003
A posted conversation on Tokei's new forum
Secil:
"Ohh spiffy... Secil in a ship and causing causalites by ejecting and bombarding bigger crafts into small ones lol. although I may not see secil as star fighter although that scar the whole freakign lot of you always ready to play Zero. Just remeber i have tendency to waste company ships lol.
And if some oen pulls of jedi star wars wookie bs.... I'm going to Zarp them with the force... it shall not be with you."
GalenaVenowen:
O_O"Uh, let's *not* give Secil an ICP...."
Zero:
"I have to agree with Gal. Secil with even more firepower. That's just..creepy. We barely trust him with the guns he has now." ^_~

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