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Stupid

He had seen her out of the corner of his eye on his way in and had seen her coming towards him. He steeled himself for the greeting, preparing himself on how he would greet her.

He had been gone for three months and upon his return he found that Celesta had already found herself a new gentleman. He had been shocked. Only three months. Had all the time they had spent together mean nothing? Did all those words she said meaningless? All those letters?

"Lucien! It's so good to see you!"

He forced his most pleasant smile on his face and turned in his seat at the bar to face her. "Celesta," he replied politely. "It is good to see you, as well."

Celesta embraced him in a warm hug, then drew away. She looked him over with a critical eye and nodded. "Traveling home seems to have agreed with you," She said with a smile. She looped her arm through his and gently tugged on his arm. "Come. I want you to meet someone."

Reluctantly, Lucien stood from his seat and allowed himself to be led by Celesta over to a table where a young man sat.

"Lucien, I want you to meet Matteo." Celesta positively beamed as she looked at the man at the table, who had stood after being announced.

Lucien didn't bother to look at Matteo closely. All he could remember where brown eyes and brown hair.

"Matteo has asked me to marry him and I've accepted!"

Lucien nearly did a double take. He swallowed past the sudden lump in his throat and forced a grin on his face. "Congratulations, Celesta!" He was surprised by the control he had over his voice. He disentangled himself from Celesta and held a hand out ot Matteo. "Congratulations to you as well, Matteo."

Matteo nodded gravely and shook LUcien's hand. "Thank you, sir. Please. Have a seat."

Lucien had a sinking feeling about the situation but sat.

"Celesta has talked quite a bit about you," Matteo began.

"Oh?"

"Yes. She said that you two were close friends."

An interrogation. Figures.

"How long have you two known each other?"

"Almost two years." It felt more like a lifetime.

"Ah." Matteo paused. "Will you be at the wedding?"

Lucien shook his head. "I am afraid not. I will be returning home."

"You're leaving?!" Celesta's voice rose in pitch and nearly cracked.

There was almost a panic in her eyes when Lucien turned to look at her. He nodded curtly. "Yes. I am leaving."

Celesta nodded and forced a smile. "Why don't I get us all drinks?"

Lucien rose from his chair. "That is not necessary, Celesta. I shall fetch the drinks. You should be here. With the one you love."

Celesta gave him a look of alarm and Matteo stood up. "Nonsense. I will. You and Celesta are old friends. I'm sure you two have quite a bit to catch up on."

"No, really," Lucien insisted. "I will go fetch the drinks. Besides, I feel as though I am the fifth man out."

Matteo raised an eyebrow. "I see that." He left without a word to the bar for drinks as Lucien slowly sank back down into his seat.

Those words seared through him and ran around in his head. "Celesta, I am sorry, but I really must go. Good luck to you both." he stood and hastily departed the tavern before Celesta could utter a word.

He hastened down the road to where his old house was and entered. He made his way upstairs to the master bedroom and retrieved the box he had left behind in the wardrobe. The men he had hired to move his furniture would be by soon.

He stared down at the box he held and had the half wild thought of destroying its contents. He couldn't. He knew he couldn't. Even if all the words in every letter written to him were false, he couldn't destroy them.

Maybe he could drive her away. Make her hate him. It would be much easier to forget about her if she hated him. Maybe it would make the pain go away. Maybe it would make him forget.

He laughed, which made more of a choking sound. Who was he trying to fool? Certainly not himself. He still loved her. Or had he just been infatuated with her?

He felt like an idiot. How stupid could he be? He had just been another deluded gentleman trying to reach for something that was as unattainable as the stars.

Lucien flung the box from him suddenly. He watched as the lid came off and hover in mid-air as the box plummeted to the floor, letters spilling out of it and fluttering in the air like leaves and then finally fluttering gently to the floor.

He began to stride past them out of the bedroom and down the stairs, but stopped. He looked down at the floor and noticed that Celesta's poem was laying atop her first letter to him, right by his left foot.

He paused and stared. After what seemed like an eternity he picked up the letter and poem and tucked them away in an inner pocket of his surcoat. He really liked that first letter and her poem. He'd at least keep these.

He gathered up the rest of the letters and other mementos he had from her and placed them neatly back into the box. He even retrieved the lid and gently placed it back on the box. He picked it up and placed it on one of the furniture pieces in the bedroom. He'd just let the workers pack it.

Lucien walked out of the room and down the stairs to the front door. He had forgotten that he had left it open. He walked outside and then to the side of the door to lean against the wall. He would wait for the workers. It wasn't as if he had anyone waiting for him. Besides, he had all the time in the world.

"No regrets," he murmured to himself.

So, then...why did it hurt so much?

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